Top tips for parental happiness
This International Day of Happiness, we’re thinking about parental happiness and how to prioritise finding it.
Created by the UN to recognise the importance of happiness in the lives of people all over the world, this year the International Day of Happiness is celebrated on March 20th.
The subject of parental happiness is close to our hearts. We live in a time where support networks are stretched (we no longer live as close to relatives as we once did), we work some of the longest hours in Europe1 and have some of the most expensive childcare in the world.2 Add to that the lack of funding for maternity and well-being services and the current economic situation, it’s unsurprising that parents might not be feeling very smiley right now.
Aside from all these factors, parenting is hard work. Rewarding, amazing and brilliant, but also hard. With a to-do list that is always growing, shopping to be done, logistics to be managed, there isn’t often time to pause and think about yourself and what makes you happy.
If this resonates with you, don't worry – you aren’t alone.
In 2019, the European Research Council published a report which found that there was a decline in individual’s subjective well-being, that is, how happy they say they are or how satisfied they are with life once they become parents.3 Some researchers have called this the ‘parenting happiness gap’.4
But we don’t think it should or has to be this way. We believe that parents deserve better and this International Day of Happiness we’d like to prompt you to prioritise your own happiness.
Spend five minutes today thinking about your own happiness – and make a happy plan.
Firstly, what is happiness?
This is a difficult question since happiness is subjective. Happiness is personal, and what makes one person happy may cause anxiety in another.
However, considering what makes you happy, or noticing that doing something makes you happy, might help you to find more of it.
Start a happiness list
What makes you happy? Make a list and put that list somewhere you can see and update it as a reminder to keep thinking about your happiness. Whether it be days out walking, reading books, cold water swims, meeting friends for lunch, gardening, getting dressed up to go out for dinner, a park run or baking with the kids. Get it all on there.
Create a happy place
This might be a room of your house (or a part of a room), a certain chair, your bed(!) a favourite bench on a walk, stretch of beach or a spot in your garden. If it is in your house, then is there anything you’d like to keep in your happy place? A photograph of someone special, a journal, or a couple of your favourite books?
Alternatively, you could take a photograph of your happy place to look at when you need a boost. Keep it somewhere prominent. Or write about it so that you can read the passage and bring it to life whenever the need arises. Just knowing and thinking about your happy place may well bring a big smile to your face.
Curate a happy news stream
We are all bombarded with news 24 hours a day. We follow people on social media that might not make us feel that positive, we might even have people in our lives that tend to leave us feeling decidedly flat. So, what can be done? How about curating your own happy news stream? It could be a WhatsApp group with friends where you only share funny memes, a book of beautiful poetry by your bed that replaces late night scrolling or a dedicated Instagram account for finding your happy. When we asked our team, they suggested some of the following places for good news:
- The Happy News – A newspaper full of positive news stories.
- Positive News Uk – One Instagram platform you leave with a smile
- Uplifting Stories – A BBC feature that does exactly what you’d expect.
Make time for the things that bring you joy. Your happiness is just as important as everyone else's.
Remember we all have bad days, and times that are hard or make us feel sad – but if you feel that you can’t remember the last time you smiled, laughed or felt happy, do speak to a health professional or someone you trust – you’re not alone.
And think about how you can prioritise your own happiness, in the same way that you prioritise supporting your children to find theirs. Your happiness matters too!
This article is taken from within the My First Five Years App – we support parents to ditch the guilt and find the joy in parenting.
[1) https://ec.europa.eu/eurostat/databrowser/view/tps00071/default/table?lang=en
[2) https://www.familyandchildcaretrust.org/sites/default/files/Resource%20Library/Childcare%20Survey%202023_Coram%20Family%20and%20Childcare.pdf
[3) Orgad, S. (2019). The parenting happiness gap. London School of Economics. https://blogs.lse.ac.uk/parenting4digitalfuture/2019/10/09/the-parenting-happiness-gap/
[4] Glass, J., Simon, R.W., Andersson, M.A. (2016). Parenthood and happiness: Effects of work-family reconciliation policies in 22 OECD countries. American Journal of Sociology, 122(3)
